Hello again, you Skyrim-playing bastards.

Just thought I'd shed some light on the latest (and greatest) ultraviolent, wtfisthis game encounter of the year (right on fucking time too, Vince).

Alright, history recap: The first Postal came out in 1997 and was an isometric "kill the fuck out of everything" shooter which pissed off Joe Lieberman to no end. Six years later, the cult game Postal 2 came out, a first-person shooter where you could piss on people to make them vomit, decapitate their heads with shovels, kick their bodies around leaving a trail of blood, throw anthrax-filled cow heads at them, etc. Its ultraviolence and blatantly politically incorrect humor made it the voice of a generation (okay, not really, but it's fun as shit). The game had you playing as The Postal Dude, a psychopathic loser who lives in a trailer in the urban decay of Paraside, AZ with his bitchy wife and dog Champ. Every day his wife gives him errands to do, which all end badly. Book protestors burning down the library, Taliban terrorists attacking the church or his fanatical zealot Uncle Dave having a party (actually the fucking Waco siege).

2005, Apocalypse Weekend comes out, finishes the story, then AW7 mod comes out and makes Postal 2 the greatest stress reliever and cult game of all time. Now, Postal III's out.



So, this time it's a rather cartoony third-person shooter with '70s grindhouse style cutscenes, rather than plain machinima. The first part of the game is just an intro, but a rather un-PC and funny one too, in the typical RWS spirit. Story is: You nuked Paradise, move to Catharsis and wind up amidst the corruption of it all, as you switch job after job, teaming up and fighting against tons of nutjobs along the way. It's mission-based so far, but freeroam will be added (RWS will be patching it). You get to choose your path and alter the story throughout. Stuff like this happens: Anti-pornography hockey moms invade Jennifer Wallcott's autograph session, ecological terrorist group invades the mall and Osama bin Laden, who was alive all this time and now owns a soup kitchen sends the Taliban after you while you're picking apples from a tree.

Infomercial over. Your thoughts.

Also, if you misread "Portal III", you are an asshat.

Written by vezzy on 27.12.2011 at 16:47

Hello again, you Skyrim-playing bastards.

I fucking wish I was one.

Even though you're only (supposedly) 13, aren't you a bit too old to be fascinated by the cheese-gore that is Postal?

Written by Slayer666 on 27.12.2011 at 22:09
Even though you're only (supposedly) 13, aren't you a bit too old to be fascinated by the cheese-gore that is Postal?

Even a passive gamer like me that can be happy with most FPS thinks this stuff is fubking boring.

Written by Slayer666 on 27.12.2011 at 22:09

Written by vezzy on 27.12.2011 at 16:47

Hello again, you Skyrim-playing bastards.

I fucking wish I was one.

Even though you're only (supposedly) 13, aren't you a bit too old to be fascinated by the cheese-gore that is Postal?

You're never old to use a cat as a silencer.

Written by X-Ray Rod on 27.12.2011 at 22:31
Even a passive gamer like me that can be happy with most FPS thinks this stuff is fubking boring.

Then you obviously haven't played the AW7 mod.

A buddy's gf worked next door to the company that put out Postal back in the 90's. she actually met adn got a pic with Gary Coleman when he visited the office while they were working on the first version.

That's awesome.

Written by BitterCOld on 12.01.2012 at 04:04

A buddy's gf worked next door to the company that put out Postal back in the 90's. she actually met adn got a pic with Gary Coleman when he visited the office while they were working on the first version.

Wow, that is a pretty awesome story, indeed.

I didn't know Gary was around RWS when they were developing Postal 1.

Anyway, I beat Postal III's bad ending and I'm working on the good ending. Game is pretty stable now and fairly good graphically (bugs are fixed, free roam has been added with new patches and stuff). The gore and weapons are quite satisfactory (badgersaw oh yeah) and what isn't to like about fighting a meth-addicted rhino while being dressed as a giant ballsack?

Written by BitterCOld on 12.01.2012 at 04:04

A buddy's gf worked next door to the company that put out Postal back in the 90's. she actually met adn got a pic with Gary Coleman when he visited the office while they were working on the first version.

The company is called Running With Scissors and Gary Coleman was in the Postal 2

Written by tea[m]ster on 14.01.2012 at 18:15

Written by BitterCOld on 12.01.2012 at 04:04

A buddy's gf worked next door to the company that put out Postal back in the 90's. she actually met adn got a pic with Gary Coleman when he visited the office while they were working on the first version.

The company is called Running With Scissors and Gary Coleman was in the Postal 2

whichever it was, was a long time ago... a decade or so (trying to remember the office at the time). i was oblivious of the game until she came by our office with the "you'll never guess what happened!" story and pic.