Metal Storm logo
Love



Posts: 456   Visited by: 284 users
26.11.2011 - 03:22
JD
Account deleted
This is the new thread, you know what to do.

Show me some love.
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 14:13
Slayer666
Is it time for Troy's heart ripping bullshit story now?
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 22:35
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
What are people excited about this or something?

Okay, I'll try to come to terms with everything and post it after the weekend. Some news about the story: My ex is now single.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 22:44
JD
Account deleted
He is single now?
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 22:47
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Haaaaaa ha ha. >>

No, her boyfriend dumped her two nights ago. She's been a wreck ever since, and I can't really say anything to bring her out of it since I'm the reason both of us are so fucked up in the first place. Anyway, I don't have the ability to get into much detail right now. Will explain everything soon.

And yes Roro, I'll notify you.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 23:44
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=115335] on 26.11.2011 at 23:27
Now im in a state of low self esteem and self depreciation >>

I hear you. I've been in two relationships, one lasted 4 years (off and on), the other 2 (off and on).

Low self-esteem and self-deprecation can lead to very dark periods in a person's life. My only advice would be to try not thinking about the past or the future, but to live in the moment. If you can do that then what happened or what will happen won't drag you down as much.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
26.11.2011 - 23:51
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=115335] on 26.11.2011 at 23:46
lately i've been thinking of her more and more probably because I'm doing fuck all at the moment.

I spent 3 weeks in a hospital and I can honestly say the worst possible thing you can do is not do anything. All you have is time to think and anyone who's experienced a serious break-up knows that thinking about it will only make you feel worse. Then you start playing the blame game and regardless of who you choose to fault for what happened, it's just going to make you lament the fact that it's over.

Talking about it is a positive, getting it off your chest. But thinking by yourself about it is counterproductive. I can guarantee if you're able to throw yourself into your studies you'll be better off. Distracting yourself is key until enough time has passed for your mind to comprehend life post-[girl's name] and then thinking about it won't be so disastrous.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 01:24
Ragana
Rawrcat
Written by [user id=115335] on 26.11.2011 at 23:46

Problem is, i've also dropped out of uni and am waiting for a place in med school now...

I was in the same situation. I left the uni last December and had to wait 9 months until I started to study again. all I can say - keep yourself busy. not only doing nothing will be pointless but also that may make you to think of stuff you definitely don't wanna think about. I let myself to do that and nothing good came out of it. thankfully, I've been back in uni for a couple of months now and I have way too many mineral formulas stuck in my head to think of anything else.
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 14:17
Fredd
Account deleted
I love mom and dad.
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 14:34
vezzy
Stallmanite
Written by Slayer666 on 26.11.2011 at 14:13

Is it time for Troy's heart ripping bullshit story now?




Yes, I had to.
----
Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 15:19
Angelic Storm
Melodious
Written by vezzy on 27.11.2011 at 14:34
Yes, I had to.


Oh come on, this seems much more fitting:



Loading...
27.11.2011 - 20:31
ANGEL REAPER
Written by Troy Killjoy on 26.11.2011 at 23:44

Written by [user id=115335] on 26.11.2011 at 23:27
Now im in a state of low self esteem and self depreciation >>

I hear you. I've been in two relationships, one lasted 4 years (off and on), the other 2 (off and on).

Low self-esteem and self-deprecation can lead to very dark periods in a person's life. My only advice would be to try not thinking about the past or the future, but to live in the moment. If you can do that then what happened or what will happen won't drag you down as much.

well that or to get out,drink,get fight with someone,burn few shit,turn few cars upside down,fuck some whores .. something like that...and at the end you was born alone,you can die alone,being alone ...big deal pffftt(my motto )
----
"Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..."
"Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 22:04
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Another spoiler to the story: My ex wants me back so I'll be moving across the country again to be with her. Depending on how it works out, I might not be as active around the site anymore. We'll see. Story time still scheduled for tomorrow night. Or maybe tonight if I have the time...
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
27.11.2011 - 22:22
vezzy
Stallmanite
Written by Troy Killjoy on 27.11.2011 at 22:04

Another spoiler to the story: My ex wants me back so I'll be moving across the country again to be with her. Depending on how it works out, I might not be as active around the site anymore. We'll see. Story time still scheduled for tomorrow night. Or maybe tonight if I have the time...


Haha, yeah, that's that other movie.
----
Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
Loading...
28.11.2011 - 14:04
Valentin B
Iconoclast
Written by Troy Killjoy on 27.11.2011 at 22:04

Another spoiler to the story: My ex wants me back so I'll be moving across the country again to be with her. Depending on how it works out, I might not be as active around the site anymore. We'll see. Story time still scheduled for tomorrow night. Or maybe tonight if I have the time...

man, a relocation like this is something not to be taken lightly. In my opinion (and this is a scary thought, believe me) I would ask myself: "would she move here for me if she had the means?".. if the answer is a definite yes than sure, go for it, but if it's not..
Loading...
28.11.2011 - 16:57
Spirit Molecule
spirit molecule
He stays in Zimbabwe, so it doesn't really matter, cross country can't be that far away, maybe 30mins? Well I would say an hour considering the traffic situation out there, must be quite fucked.
----
If you never wake up from a dream does it become reality?

Last fm
Don't click here
Loading...
28.11.2011 - 17:24
Valentin B
Iconoclast
Written by Spirit Molecule on 28.11.2011 at 16:57

He stays in Zimbabwe, so it doesn't really matter, cross country can't be that far away, maybe 30mins? Well I would say an hour considering the traffic situation out there, must be quite fucked.

haha, the country he selected is a joke man, he lives in Canada, and he plans to relocate from some place in the western area of Canada to Ontario, which is quite some hours by plane away.
Loading...
28.11.2011 - 17:44
Spirit Molecule
spirit molecule
Oops for got the smiley
Yeah I know, I was kidding
----
If you never wake up from a dream does it become reality?

Last fm
Don't click here
Loading...
28.11.2011 - 19:02
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Valentin B on 28.11.2011 at 14:04
man, a relocation like this is something not to be taken lightly. In my opinion (and this is a scary thought, believe me) I would ask myself: "would she move here for me if she had the means?".. if the answer is a definite yes than sure, go for it, but if it's not..

Long story short, the answer is a definite yes, so it's an easy decision. It's not like I didn't already do it 3 years ago.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 19:15
Roro
Written by Troy Killjoy on 27.11.2011 at 22:04

Another spoiler to the story: My ex wants me back so I'll be moving across the country again to be with her.

what ?!! but isnt she was the reason for ur misery for a quite long time and made u bitching as hell on our beloved forum ?!!!
its not about what "she" wants whenever she wants , or what?
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 20:10
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Roro on 29.11.2011 at 19:15
what ?!! but isnt she was the reason for ur misery for a quite long time and made u bitching as hell on our beloved forum ?!!!
its not about what "she" wants whenever she wants , or what?

No, there are two ex-girlfriends. I'll call them A and Z. I'll be moving back to be with A.

I met A when I was 15 and we had that "puppy love" thing from the start. Inseparable, head-over-heels, etc. Her best friend was Z. And we hated each other (kind of a jealousy thing, who gets to spend more time with A).

Then my sister ran into some drug trouble out West, so my mom moved us from Ontario to Alberta to help her. That meant me and A would be long-distance, but we committed to it. I promised I'd come back.

A year later my dad (who coincidentally lived in Alberta) said he had a job opportunity in New Brunswick, which is closer to Ontario than Alberta so I decided I'd move with him and live with him for the first time in my life (long story short, child of divorce who only visited my father once up until this move). I told A, she was stoked.

A year later he says he's going back to Alberta, so I used all the money I saved up over the years to get myself on a train and get back to A in Ontario, by living with one of my mom's old friends who had a room for rent. So I started working at the book store to make ends meet, but when we started hanging out I realized things were different. She broke up with me a few weeks later. I could tell she had already moved on at some point when I was gone, because she didn't believe my promise that I'd come back. But I did, and then ya... she dumped me.

So I threw myself into your typical pit of despair, and lo and behold Z decides to message me on Facebook and tell me she "dumped" A because... well, because of a few things, and started talking to me about A and getting over her. So we start hanging out, and we go to school together, and that eventually leads to me kind of falling for her. Not nearly the same way as it was with A, but still heavy stuff I guess.

Then I start fucking up by breaking things off with Z because I feel guilty moving on from A and there's all kinds of that crap going on, and a lot of getting back together with A and Z at different times and them fighting over me and it got pretty ugly. So after graduation I get back with A after almost 6 months without seeing her, and then *I* break up with her. First time for that. And I chose to be with Z. But it didn't work because she had to go to university. So I told her she should break it off, but she refused.

So I break it off. Then she started sleeping with this guy who lived two floors above me in the same apartment (I moved out after a year living with my mom's friend). She knew him from a bunch of parties she went to and the pizza place I took her to sometimes. She cut me out completely, blocking me on every site and never talking to me again. A was with someone else too, and that was that.

About 6 months later the stress of those relationships as well as an incredibly stressful new job led to... a few suicide attempts. I don't really wanna go into detail but I was in the hospital for a few weeks, got out, moved back to Alberta to be with family, and now I'm healthy and stable and ready to go back. Then A decides to tell me she left her boyfriend, she knows what she wants and she was stupid for denying it, and asked me to move in with her. Hollywood ending I hope.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 21:20
vezzy
Stallmanite
I stopped reading after you said Facebook. Son, disappoint and whatnot.

Seriously though, what a story. Except the ending would be much better if you flipped her the bird.
----
Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 21:25
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Flipping the bird wouldn't be much of a Hollywood ending now would it.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 21:29
vezzy
Stallmanite
That's the point.
----
Licensed under the GPLv3.
Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 22:05
Roro
Suicide attempts and hospital ?? oh dude u were so fucked up :s .. i've been there, once.
-well, in my opinion, the puppy love wont last and wont make a serious long term relation. u were 15 and u were very sentimental. but after a quit time u'll realize it wasnt the real thing after all.
- Z obviously were getting her revenge from her "ex-best friend" A by being with you. its a childish girly thinking ( we all do ) maybe it turned later to be something more soled thats why when u broke up she chose someone U KNOW to be with. she was furious.
- A just finished screwing around and she got dumped so she wants to feel wanted and loved again so now she's seeking her old admirer's attentions.( another childish girly thoughts ).

i can see from ur story that both A and Z still have feeling for u. the question is, who do u want really after all??
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 22:14
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Roro on 29.11.2011 at 22:05
- A just finished screwing around and she got dumped so she wants to feel wanted and loved again so now she's seeking her old admirer's attentions.( another childish girly thoughts ).
i can see from ur story that both A and Z still have feeling for u. the question is, who do u want really after all??

The first part is definitely inaccurate. When I broke up with A for the first time she started dating the first guy to ask her out. He's got a lot of issues and treated her like shit, and she hated him, but she said it was too much to be alone thinking about me. So after... what, months and months of talking things out with her, she finally decided to end it with him and express her feelings (a rarity, I assure you). It was quite revealing to see that side of her, and to know that she honestly wants me back. I was blind to it for a while but now I realize the entire time she's been hoping for me to come back and fight for her - once I "gave up" fighting (I didn't actually, but I made her think I did to see how she'd respond) she realized what she was missing and that she had to fight for me.

Who I want and who I've always wanted is A. I've spent the past 5 years trying to make things work so we could be together again. I know it's probably irrational and based on a puppy love that had a lot of ups and downs, but I see it working differently this time. Both of us have grown a lot since our first relationship and our changes have only brought us closer together. When you're 15 you convince yourself that you'll change and hate each other in 10 years anyway, and I'm not saying we're gonna be married next month. There's still a chance this won't work, but this is also a chance to set things straight and work on building the relationship I've been fighting for with the one person I feel is worth fighting for in my life.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 22:47
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=115335] on 29.11.2011 at 22:36
Oh god... reminds me of when I tried to OD myself with some pills.....

Well if we're all sharing that kind of info it would be selfish if I didn't.

I've tried (and failed, thankfully) five times. The first three were with a knife (wrists and throat) - the third time was "significant" enough to result in a one-night stay in the hospital and counseling - the fourth was an OD (full bottle of extra strength Tylenol, full bottle of Advil, two packs of sleep meds, four bottles of prescription meds for manic depression and borderline personality disorder) - this was what led to the three-week hospital vacation - and the fifth was a combination of ODing and cutting (they fixed me up and sent me home, said it's on me if I don't figure it out).

After I was taken out of hospital I was set up with a youth shelter but they wouldn't take me in because I was still a threat to myself, so I moved out West to live with my dad, then moved North to live with my mom. Now I'm going back home and all that shit's behind me. I just have to make sure if something happens there that I act rationally and don't go to extremes again.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
29.11.2011 - 22:59
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=115335] on 29.11.2011 at 22:54
When I feel suicidal or depressed nowadays I just get out of the house and go cycling or running. It was weird though, I took every pill I could find, but absolutely nothing happened.

In all honest the best thing to do is ya, get out, be active, force yourself to socialize and DO STUFF.

I used to sort of use my relationships as that THING, so when they were gone it was like...fuck. But I've since learned to balance my life with more things to keep myself occupied. Love is important, but it's not the only thing in life that matters.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
30.11.2011 - 00:35
Valentin B
Iconoclast
Written by Troy Killjoy on 29.11.2011 at 22:59

Written by [user id=115335] on 29.11.2011 at 22:54
When I feel suicidal or depressed nowadays I just get out of the house and go cycling or running. It was weird though, I took every pill I could find, but absolutely nothing happened.

In all honest the best thing to do is ya, get out, be active, force yourself to socialize and DO STUFF.

that is the best advice I can give too. ever since i started working full-time and studying in my spare time (until july when i finished my degree) i was just too busy to think about not being in a relationship (not to mention it would not work at all with my lack of time)... at one point during late may, for a week or so i was working, playing in my band, studying for exams, writing my degree paper, and sitting around wearing a billboard in the park promoting a concert. at no point did i actually think that not being in a relationship makes all this not worth it.

relationships/sex aren't the be all end all of life(though American Pie would have you think otherwise). if you find the time and energy to do the stuff you like and makes you happy (which shouldn't include playing computer games 30 hours a week), you will live a fulfilling life generally and will probably become interesting enough for girls to see you in a better light, ironicaly increasing your chances at geting into a relationship. it's weird, but this statement is mostly true: the best way to be successful with girls is to not give a fuck about it. of course, if you'd play video games all day and don't give a fuck that's taking it to the extreme, rather find the stuff you want to do in your life and be a better "you".. girls wil come along naturally after that.
Loading...
30.11.2011 - 13:18
Roro
Hmm, i know its something good that after a long time you got back for talking again.. you feel kinda relieving and peaceful. but its better to talk about everything to "clear the water", that will be step 1.
i just hope that she came to u bcoz she wants u, not bcoz she's feeling rejected and having low esteem.
i am not for the idea of moving together now, very soon for that, both need more time to talk together, to be more open towards each other. dude, u tried to kill ur self 5 times !! u need to be sure from her emotions that she loves u not she "used to" love u, got me?

here is a thing,why u dont try spend a weekend together somewhere as a start?
Loading...