Anxiety can suck my balls ><

Written by Sweetou on 21.12.2011 at 06:02
Anxiety can suck my balls ><

I wish it were that easy.

Written by [user id=2943] on 20.12.2011 at 11:53
I'm on a very small dose of antidepressants. About a tenth of the full daily dose for depression. It does help a bit to calm me down but ultimately I've got to do it yourself, got to work hard to try and relax but as you'll know it's not as easy as it sounds. I also started bodybuilding to give me a focus and give me some confidence.

I realised the difference between "being" and "having" when it became really bad and I thought about when I've been worried earlier in life, even for long periods... and the feeling just doesn't compare the medical condition.

I bet you have more good qualities than you realise. I've realised over the last few years that what I thought were negative things are actually positive and I'm a bit happier about them. For example, I'm a social retard: I'm incapable of making small talk with people unless I know them very, very well and am painfully shy. Now I notice the way some people talk to each other and the crap that comes out of their mouths is so insincere, petty and trivial that I'd rather not be a part of those kind of conversations, but I can still chill out and have a laugh and be daft when I feel like it. So there's something that I hated about myself but now feel good about.

You must be awesome anyway because you like Mortal Kombat.

It definitely isn't as easy as it sounds, you're right. The thing with anti-depressants, is they can only help with the symptoms to some degree, but the root causes of the depression is still something you have to deal with yourself. Which is why I've been very resistant to anti-depressants.

Lots of people who are depressed mistakingly believe that they have depression, but it really is a very different thing entirely. Having depression is no differernt to having a disability, it hampers every aspect of your life, and impedes your ability to function normally in society. It's something that never leaves you, it's with you every single moment. I was diagnosed with depression at 18, but I had felt like that for many years prior to getting that diagnosis. I wasn't diagnosed earlier, simply because it wasn't until I was 18 that I chose to get medical help for it.

I don't think so... I don't think I have any good qualities other than the ones I'm already aware of. :\ I really can't think of any aspect of myself that I've hated that I'm now happy about. Or that I could ever see myself being happy about. I am also painfully shy, but I don't think that's an aspect of myself that I've ever hated. I never make small talk with people, and always have to be spoken to, before I'll say anything. I will never initiate a converation with someone in person. I also never make eye contact with people, I will always look away or at the floor in order to avoid doing that. I think that's because I don't want anyone looking at me.

Ah well, Mortal Kombat is awesome! xD I'm not sure if liking it makes me awesome though...

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

Written by Angelic Storm on 21.12.2011 at 12:26

It definitely isn't as easy as it sounds, you're right. The thing with anti-depressants, is they can only help with the symptoms to some degree, but the root causes of the depression is still something you have to deal with yourself. Which is why I've been very resistant to anti-depressants.

Lots of people who are depressed mistakingly believe that they have depression, but it really is a very different thing entirely. Having depression is no differernt to having a disability, it hampers every aspect of your life, and impedes your ability to function normally in society. It's something that never leaves you, it's with you every single moment. I was diagnosed with depression at 18, but I had felt like that for many years prior to getting that diagnosis. I wasn't diagnosed earlier, simply because it wasn't until I was 18 that I chose to get medical help for it.

I don't think so... I don't think I have any good qualities other than the ones I'm already aware of. :\ I really can't think of any aspect of myself that I've hated that I'm now happy about. Or that I could ever see myself being happy about. I am also painfully shy, but I don't think that's an aspect of myself that I've ever hated. I never make small talk with people, and always have to be spoken to, before I'll say anything. I will never initiate a converation with someone in person. I also never make eye contact with people, I will always look away or at the floor in order to avoid doing that. I think that's because I don't want anyone looking at me.

Ah well, Mortal Kombat is awesome! xD I'm not sure if liking it makes me awesome though...

I'm sure getting some heavy medication is easier in the short term, but I agree that it's best to not go down that route because you'll rely on that instead of actually trying to sort your head out. I've only been struggling with my anxiety for about a year. I had glandular fever in 2006 and still suffer from a few minor physical problems, that I never let get to me before, but late last year I just really started to worry about them and that's when it started. Since it really kicked in it's been there every single moment, like you said, it never leaves. Some days are better than others though.

I think it's like there's this switch in your head: it's either on or off, no in between, and if you can just flick it off... so damn hard to do that though. It's like, that moment when you'll be free of worry is always one moment ahead of you, and you feel like you'll be there in a second but you never are. What do you do to fight it? Do you meditate or anything like that? I tried it a few weeks ago and actually had a few minutes peace haha!

Being shy is bad enough. I also hate that feeling that people are looking at me. It's wierd because I've been told by lots of people that I'm really handsome but I'm so bloody shy I can't make the most of it (hmmm that sounds bad but I'm sure you get what I mean).

Everyone has negative aspects. No one's perfect though so you've just got to be happy about who you are. Accept the good and the bad. Unless you're a rapist or something and then you can be pretty sure that you suck.

Anyone who likes classic games like MK has good taste, and good taste is the foundation of awesomeness! I always preffered Street Fighter though...

Written by [user id=2943] on 21.12.2011 at 15:29
I'm sure getting some heavy medication is easier in the short term, but I agree that it's best to not go down that route because you'll rely on that instead of actually trying to sort your head out...

I totally agree with that. Anti depressants as a long term solution might end up doing more harm than good, they aren't something that should be relied on forevermore to be able to cope with life. And that's a real issue, people becoming addicted to them after long term use. I think because I am so used to feeling like this, I feel I can cope without them, as I don't really know any other way of feeling. And yep, some days are better than others, but I tend to find it's just a scale of how bad I'm feeling, rather than it being me actually ever feeling "good" about stuff.

What do I do to fight it? I've always found music therapeutic, and it's fair to say without music in my life, I probably wouldn't be alive now. My cat also, is a source of comfort to me. I've never meditated, but maybe I should give it a go, I dunno.. a bit of peace certainly wouldn't go amiss!

Ah well, I've never really had any compliments regarding how I look, and any slight amount of positivity regarding them I can tell as very obviously just trying to make me feel better, rather than them actually believing that. But because I know it's unsincere, it only makes me feel even worse about myself. But most people would rather sugar coat things, that just tell you the brutal truth. (no band puns here please! lol) You could be really handsome, cos I know a lot of people put down their looks, when really, there's nothing wrong with them. Especially women. Do you also have problems making eye contact with people then?

No one is perfect, but I think Im about as far from being perfect as you can get. I do realise that personality wise at least, I am being way too hard on myself, but it's hard to break the habit of a lifetime. Recently though, I have been able to accept that I do have good qualities, though I still put myself down more than I probably should.

Hey, Street Fighter is awesome too! And yep, I love classic games. I tend to find that rare exceptions aside, that older games were better than most games of today. lol

Written by Valentin B on 21.12.2011 at 13:16

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

i am quoting that , but how did u know he's from Ms ?

Written by Roro on 24.12.2011 at 14:32

Written by Valentin B on 21.12.2011 at 13:16

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

i am quoting that , but how did u know he's from Ms ?

I don't remember exactly who was it but definitely someone from MS

Written by Valentin B on 21.12.2011 at 13:16

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

Diagnose yourself? Yeah right...most of the people have been depressed for a long time and don't even know...there's several forms of depression, not only the one eveybody knows "not wanting to get up, cry, etc, etc" ...it's really an important disease, the thing is people don't think of it in that way...for instance if I tell a patient: "you've got depression" wow they can truly get mad and start yelling or stuff like that...but why don't they do the same when I tell them they've got apendicitis or the flu?? it's the same thing, you get medical treatment and that's it...but most people think depression or anxiety means you are weak when you clearly can't control it.

Written by nana.MD on 04.01.2012 at 19:22

Written by Valentin B on 21.12.2011 at 13:16

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

Diagnose yourself? Yeah right...most of the people have been depressed for a long time and don't even know...there's several forms of depression, not only the one eveybody knows "not wanting to get up, cry, etc, etc" ...it's really an important disease, the thing is people don't think of it in that way...for instance if I tell a patient: "you've got depression" wow they can truly get mad and start yelling or stuff like that...but why don't they do the same when I tell them they've got apendicitis or the flu?? it's the same thing, you get medical treatment and that's it...but most people think depression or anxiety means you are weak when you clearly can't control it.

I think it's the same thing as going to the psychiatrist.. some people are automatically prejudiced towards it, because they think "oh, so you're saying i'm crazy, right?", when in reality it's just like any other disease you can cure.

Written by Valentin B on 04.01.2012 at 19:34

Written by nana.MD on 04.01.2012 at 19:22

Written by Valentin B on 21.12.2011 at 13:16

Some guy (probably from MS) posted on facebook that "before you diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety, please make sure everyone around you isn't actually an asshole"

Diagnose yourself? Yeah right...most of the people have been depressed for a long time and don't even know...there's several forms of depression, not only the one eveybody knows "not wanting to get up, cry, etc, etc" ...it's really an important disease, the thing is people don't think of it in that way...for instance if I tell a patient: "you've got depression" wow they can truly get mad and start yelling or stuff like that...but why don't they do the same when I tell them they've got apendicitis or the flu?? it's the same thing, you get medical treatment and that's it...but most people think depression or anxiety means you are weak when you clearly can't control it.

I think it's the same thing as going to the psychiatrist.. some people are automatically prejudiced towards it, because they think "oh, so you're saying i'm crazy, right?", when in reality it's just like any other disease you can cure.

Oh yes! Going to the psychiatrist is like another sign of weakness, there's nothing bad in it though...I think everybody should go once in a while, everybody's got issues

I'm generally a happy person, but this thread is bringing me down :?

When I was in late grade school (6-8) I was bullied. I was short(er) and skinny as a rail. People made fun of my size, and my ability in sports... (Which I didn't understand, as I was fairly good? I guess) I had bipolar disorder, i had massive, mood swings and anger issues. Sometimes I would snap without warining. I had some very dark thoughts during this time.

There was one kid, who was my friend since I was little, he lived close to me and I went to his house often, he was okay. He made jokes and I made jokes. he wasnt really a problem. he had two friends, one who I still don't talk to as he was that bad/mean to mean, he jeered me at everything I did, If I missed one shot in basketball, he would laugh and say a joke. I suppose he was venting his anger, as his parents went through a divorce and it was a tough time for him. The other friend was a bitch, he followed the other two around, copying everything they did, but doing it more as he was craving acceptance. He jeered me the most, so much that eventually got into a fist fight with him.
After that, I went to see a counsellor every monday. I never really payed attention to him.
When the kids at my school found out that I was seeing a counsellor, the bullying stooped. Then my school began extensive bullying campaigns.

Since I moved into high-school, everythings been fine, and I've never had a problem. I dont know if I matured out of that stage, or what. I ocaisionnally have dark thoughts, but they pass.

listening to Woods Of Ypres probably doesn't help

@BoxCar Willy: must you took medication when was bipolar-disorder ? if then, how long and what about now...? The jeering thing to you is very common that happens to all people with mental, (it is even worse in my place), totally unacceptable. There is guide to the people: no pick, no lecture, no yell on the mental, because it is so annoying to the mental making them more insecure, but nobodies follow or ever know. It sucks. Thanks time that you pass it gone and be ok now

Written by FOOCK Nam on 13.01.2012 at 15:41

@BoxCar Willy: must you took medication when was bipolar-disorder ? if then, how long and what about now...? The jeering thing to you is very common that happens to all people with mental, (it is even worse in my place), totally unacceptable. There is guide to the people: no pick, no lecture, no yell on the mental, because it is so annoying to the mental making them more insecure, but nobodies follow or ever know. It sucks. Thanks time that you pass it gone and be ok now

I eventually was able to kind of control my dark feelings, they faded away overtime. It might have been because the jeering stopped, especially when I moved on to highschool.
I dont usually get dark days anymore, but evcery now and again one pops up.

Written by Boxcar Willy on 16.01.2012 at 03:15

Written by FOOCK Nam on 13.01.2012 at 15:41

@BoxCar Willy: must you took medication when was bipolar-disorder ? if then, how long and what about now...? The jeering thing to you is very common that happens to all people with mental, (it is even worse in my place), totally unacceptable. There is guide to the people: no pick, no lecture, no yell on the mental, because it is so annoying to the mental making them more insecure, but nobodies follow or ever know. It sucks. Thanks time that you pass it gone and be ok now

I eventually was able to kind of control my dark feelings, they faded away overtime. It might have been because the jeering stopped, especially when I moved on to highschool.
I dont usually get dark days anymore, but evcery now and again one pops up.

Well, seeing what all you've been through if it comes back, poping up, probably you can handle it .

Just a random thought, I dont know but guessing that when they know you went to counselor, they stop bullying you, they are scared of you or they feel sympathy... ? I just think xD, interested in analysis

@BoxCar Willy - High school changes a lot of things. Kids who used to be unpopular can suddenly be very, kids that were picked on tend to be targets no longer (most), people mature, move on, etc. I dealt with bullies at a younger age (I did have my fair share too) but I found that the fact that I went to Karate for many years was helpful in knowing that none of the kids could ever really hurt me and I was in a sense 'better' than them. If it made them feel better about themselves, they could say whatever they wanted - they were shit anyways ^^


Anyways,
I dont know if I have some sort of antisocial somethingoranother but am I the only person who has a really hard time with small talk? I mean, I can be friendly to a person for a short time and go through a small amount of meaningless things to discuss but in the end it feels insincere and like a waste of time. Not to mention it ends awkwardly with just silence when you run out of things to talk about. People I know really well, or people that inherently share common interests with me I can simply just ramble on about things that we both (Hopefully) care about and are interested in.

Written by Zealot644 on 24.01.2012 at 04:29
Anyways,
I dont know if I have some sort of antisocial somethingoranother but am I the only person who has a really hard time with small talk? I mean, I can be friendly to a person for a short time and go through a small amount of meaningless things to discuss but in the end it feels insincere and like a waste of time. Not to mention it ends awkwardly with just silence when you run out of things to talk about. People I know really well, or people that inherently share common interests with me I can simply just ramble on about things that we both (Hopefully) care about and are interested in.

I've never been a fan of smalltalk either, which is why I don't call my relatives and get somewhat annoyed when they periodically phone me to ask me how I'm doing. I also tend to blacklist questions such as "How was school today?" and always reply with the generic "How should it have been?".

If there's a topic though, there's a discussion. But I won't hesitate to sarcastically deride a person if I feel the need to. Damn you, depression.

Written by Zealot644 on 24.01.2012 at 04:29

Anyways,
I dont know if I have some sort of antisocial somethingoranother but am I the only person who has a really hard time with small talk? I mean, I can be friendly to a person for a short time and go through a small amount of meaningless things to discuss but in the end it feels insincere and like a waste of time. Not to mention it ends awkwardly with just silence when you run out of things to talk about. People I know really well, or people that inherently share common interests with me I can simply just ramble on about things that we both (Hopefully) care about and are interested in.

We're kinda similar. When anxiousness overcomes me, I refuse to answer the phone and the door, or to go to stores/doctor's etc, wherever I'd need to have contact with people. And whenever I do contact people, it either goes awkward like you mentioned or I think I'm boring them or that they think I'm an idiot etc. It stops when my self esteem goes up, so you can try doing something nice for yourself though it's not as easy as it sounds, which you probably know.

Today I'm having one of those days, it's why I posted here actually I'm afraid I might be entering another great big period of depression since I've been depressed since December, had a short break and now it's coming back entwined with this awful anxious feeling. Having exams doesn't help either. I'm forced to study, go out, buy books, discuss subjects and darn I want to be one million miles away from me right now.

Written by Zealot644 on 24.01.2012 at 04:29

Anyways,
I dont know if I have some sort of antisocial somethingoranother but am I the only person who has a really hard time with small talk? I mean, I can be friendly to a person for a short time and go through a small amount of meaningless things to discuss but in the end it feels insincere and like a waste of time. Not to mention it ends awkwardly with just silence when you run out of things to talk about. People I know really well, or people that inherently share common interests with me I can simply just ramble on about things that we both (Hopefully) care about and are interested in.

You're definitely not alone there, that's pretty much exactly my manner as well. Rubbish at small talk with people I'm unfamiliar with, not so much with people I'm familiar. For me familiarity gets me talking, yet even then I'm not the most talkative of people. I can make conversation when the occasion calls for it but I'm bordering on reclusive and find it difficult to connect with new faces.

I LLOOOOVVVVEEEE to talk, so small talk isn't my problem. Lately I've been down in the dumps. I need something to get my spirits up.

I'm getting obsessed again. Just needed to put it out there. Hopefully I can channel it into something good this time.

Written by Milena on 17.03.2012 at 01:16
Just needed to put it out there.

Always here if you need to talk.

And on a positive note for me, I finally managed to work through the maze of my mind and figure out a way to make me believe I can do something worthwhile in life.

It only took... too long for me to care to admit.

I don't have depression or anything like that but....

I have anger issues. Like I get rage over all kinds of shit. Stupid shit that shouldn't really make me as mad as it does. Half of my day, I go through the world wanting to crush skulls with mallets and dismember fucks with a hatchet...

Luckily, I am really good at harnessing my anger and relieving it in not very destructive ways.

Written by Branzig on 17.03.2012 at 07:03

I don't have depression or anything like that but....

I have anger issues. Like I get rage over all kinds of shit. Stupid shit that shouldn't really make me as mad as it does. Half of my day, I go through the world wanting to crush skulls with mallets and dismember fucks with a hatchet...

Luckily, I am really good at harnessing my anger and relieving it in not very destructive ways.

Pretty much this^^

I used to have severe anger issues, but listening to metal has seriously nulled them.

Written by 3rdWorld on 17.03.2012 at 20:21
If it weren't for one guy, i pretty sure would end up as the most desolate ponderer out here.

Hah. Nice one.

Written by 3rdWorld on 17.03.2012 at 20:21
If it weren't for one guy, i pretty sure would end up as the most desolate ponderer out here.

Don't sweat it mate, you can't possibly be any worse than ponderer*.

*referencing in-joke for inexplicable reason

I'm glad to see everyone talking so honestly and openly about this stuff. Troy, when you bash the Maestro Luca Turilli next time I will just write it off as moodiness How could anyone hate The Forest Of Elves?! Ha, he is a bit of a joke, I'm more in agreement than ever.

Mora: if you read this, from what i can tell you're doing fantastic!

Everyone else I have never seen, you're not in this alone.

I do have a bit of a history with depression, it was never really serious as a kid, maybe some anxiety but I found that I was coping well. Maybe some anger, but it was never serious. Then I started to do a lot of hallucinogenic and stimulant drugs, and those can be a nice thing sometimes but if overused they're a gateway to hell (and not the badass metal hell with Heavy Metal Satan and whatnot). I realized that I had never been in love with a girl before and never had that sort of affection, and became fixated on it. I really started to crave it and not be able to stop. I dated one girl, and that didn't work out well, she was a total bitch, and things went even more downhill. And at the same time I didn't really feel like my life was going anywhere or had any direction, there was so much to be done in life and I wasn't doing it, and I questioned if I even could. I never really had the confidence to do something big, and was pretty introverted, and the fact that I wasn't quite right emotionally didn't help things.

So I clearly had some issues, and they can sound like minor issues compared with what some people go through, but that would be forgetting that we're biological machines and prone to malfunction. The chemistry of the brain is the mediator of the emotions and if that is awry problems appear where they wouldn't be expected to. Clinical depression is a very real thing, and there is skepticism towards it, usually along the lines of that it is an excuse to not deal with problems yourself and admit that it's up to you. And that's not true, that is pretty essential, but there is no mistaking the science of it, if I take drugs that lead to so much activity in the brain too frequently it gets worn out (simplifying language here). The brain is only built to take so much, and all of that stimulation is like a short-circuit. Same goes for chronic stress and anxiety. One can only be poked so much before the breaking point, and resilience erodes. An acute stressor is benign and we revert back to baseline, but over time it's easy to get worn down.

To add to all of that, the brain needs proper building blocks and materials to function properly. There is resistance to that idea too, we like to think that everything that we think and feel is an immaterial self, not really contingent upon the brain, but drugs prove that wrong, the neurotransmitters become elevated in the brain and then it's happy time. I have spoken to a number of people who have improved their resilience to anxiety and depression just by a few dietary interventions like not eating a lot of junk or taking a good magnesium supplement. Magnesium participates in a wide array of chemical reactions in the body and is needed for the cells of the brain to properly connect and communicate with each other, calm the nerves to reduce stress and damage to the nervous system, and other things, but tends to be depleted in soil and low in most food so it is one of the handful of essential nutrients that people can benefit from supplementing with.

No really http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19944540 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20929532 I say this stuff with concern, because I think everyone can use a helping hand. It's not a drug, it's a nutrient. The big part of overcoming depression is learning how to think a new way, but learning how to think a new way requires the ability to rewire the brain and make it stick. Again with the magnesium http://english.people.com.cn/90780/7643695.html And there have been people for whom it facilitates a recovery http://george-eby-research.com/html/magnesium-for-depression.pdf Vitamin d too, probably. Sun exposure is the way to generate it in the skin, or taking a supplement, but that is less desirable unless one really knows what one is doing.

And so I set out to treat my brain as well as my mind. And it worked for the most part. I could go on and on about the brain side of things, but I won't ramble.I think I would like to be some sort of psychiatrist, then I could ramble all day

Back to reality. I still have to avoid toxic situations like arguing with some people or being too offended by stupid things. I have to realize that I need to keep a lid on the irrational emotions and embrace the positive ones, not necessarily ignoring the truth but just cutting out the bullshit. First and foremost I probably need to find the thing that I can be truly proud of and put my energy into. And it doesn't tend to happen from thinking about it, or even learning things. I have to DO things and be someone. Someone good. Not that I have to be perfect or accomplish X thing, but I have to make the most of this life, anything else is tragic.

On a side note, from my personal experience I think that too much melodic metal (particularly highly tonal power metal...) aggravates things. It's like with the drugs, if I do acid the next day I feel burnt, like my brain isn't doing what it should (and it's not), and really exquisite and powerful melody is overstimulating. I can feel it after too much listening. So I try to mix it up with more death metal, rock, classical, techno, etc. Gone are the days I can listen to Blind Guardian for 5 hours. I may be a unique case but then again maybe not. I have more resistance if I exercise enough, do some meditation, manage stress, eat well, etc, but that's more resistance, not total resistance. Who would have thought that the "happy metal" could make me sad? Nice paradox.

So that's me. More positive than it could have been. I may put some people off with all of my ideas but I feel like sharing them helped me reflect and could help others. I definitely got some ideas from you all.

Written by [user id=125952] on 22.05.2012 at 21:32

Written by [user id=114127] on 15.12.2011 at 01:08
Girlfriends, none ever.

how about now? And why not?

1)I'm not a womanizer. 2)I'm one brash motherfucker. 3)Ive never even tried. 4)Relationships here dont involve sex, only heartache. 5)I cringe at the idea of having an ex.

Written by [user id=114127] on 22.05.2012 at 22:32

Written by [user id=125952] on 22.05.2012 at 21:32

Written by [user id=114127] on 15.12.2011 at 01:08
Girlfriends, none ever.

how about now? And why not?

4)Relationships here dont involve sex, only heartache.

Probably after the marriage they can have a legal sex and....baby? or it is the same after the marriage too?

Written by [user id=115335] on 23.05.2012 at 13:36

You don't need to a be a womanizer to get a girlfriend... Hell even I've had a girlfriend in the past, if I can do it.. anybody can

I "can." But I dont want to.

And no, I'm not gay.